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15th-Aug-2007 09:57 pm - *title*
red brolly

I’m poor again!! lol I didn’t work for 4 months, so when I got paid splurging seemed like a good idea… ahhh, I’m so bad at money management! I’m trying to work out how much I’ve got left for certain stuff and it doesn’t help that Fran is making me go out on Saturday night! (I’ll bitch about that later) I’m hoping £20 will last me for the night and that I can charm people to buy me a few drinks… LOL and I must save money for next weekend when we go out for my birthday and when Scott is here. Aahhh, I really must start paying attention to my back balance better.  *mutters*

So about the Fran thing… ugh, she was really annoying me because she totally takes advantage of me driving. I picked up Emily, Tom and Rose from Basingstoke the other week, *and* took them back, and I’m driving to Basingstoke on saturday too and I never get petrol money! It’s not that I mind driving people places, but I never even get people offering to pay for my petrol… so Saturday Fran wanted me to take her over to Basingstoke in the afternoon so she could get her lip pierced… I said I couldn’t because I’d already told Suzanne that I’d help her with the garden again (which I enjoy doing), and Fran was like, “well can’t you take me and then go back?”

Uhhh, NO! She then tried to make me feel bad by saying she’d get the bus instead…. in the end I just didn’t want the hassel so I text Suzanne and asked her if I could go to hers on Sunday instead, which she was fine with… *then* a few hours later I got a text from Fran saying her mum and Pete didn’t want to get her lip pierced so I asked if we were still going and she says to me:

“I don’t know, but you can go to Suzanne’s if you want because I know that’s why you’re asking.”

FUCK OFF! I said to her: “don’t take it out on me please! I was asking because you’re upset, I’ve already said to Suzanne I’ll go to her’s on Sunday for you.”

Then she was like “oh I didn’t mean it like that, I’m really sorry.” :roll: I changed my plans to help her out, and to go out when I don’t reeeeeally want to and for what? Ugh. I think she caught on that I was getting annoyed about the whole thing though because she eventally said something about petrol money… so, I guess we’ll see.

Enough about that though! I’m getting pretty excited about next weekend! There’s a whole groupe of us going out for my brithday, and I told Dan to invite a load of his uni friends up because it’s his birthday too so we’ll make a big thing of it. :D and of course Scott will be here too… he’s one lucky aussie getting to see the pubs of Alton! LOL

19th-May-2007 11:42 pm - ARGH
babyandjohnny
I'm incredibly frustrated and I don't know if it's because of how I feel or how other people are making me feel. Sometimes I just like to be by myself and not talk to anyone else, it's just the way I am. I haven't signed into msn since Tuesday night, and people keep asking me when I'm coming online, and if I'm avoiding it for a reason... sometimes I just don't want to talk to anyone!!! What is wrong with that?! I've told people this before and they've scoffed and said "you? not wanting to talk? I don't believe that for a second!" Yes, a lot of the time I talk loads, but that doesn't mean I have to talk ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! I'm happy being quiet, why can't other people be ok with that?
I know this probably makes me sound incredibly selfish... they obviously care and just want to know if I'm ok... but I say I'm fine and I just feel like they are saying "well why aren't you online then?" I don't have to be on all the time!! I just have a lot on my mind right now... and I don't like making small talk.

*pulls hair out*
19th-May-2007 12:06 am - *snore*
cornucopia
So um, I haven't written for ages. Basically because nothing has happened... and I just don't feel like writing about how much I'm moping! Moping about being poor, moping about what kind of job to get, moping about how fat I think I am, moping about how boring my life is.... yeah, I'm sure you get the picture! I'm really feeling the pressure of being jobless.... my parents are so short of money and I feel SO guilty for not helping and for soaking up their money. I'm just getting rather stressed and I've had a mouth full of ulcers for over a week. I really really need to get a job, like now! AAaaarrrRRgGHHHHGGH!!
regina
Ok so I haven't written for over a week. I just haven't really felt like to be honest... I've been quite.. depressed... I suppose, and got a bit emotional everytime I thought about what I wanted to write. Basically Chris and I are over... not that we ever really started. Hah. well, he didn't get the job with BA, but he went for an interview with Aer Lingus which is based out of Dublin,... so if he gets it, which it's looking like he will, then he'll have to move to Dublin so that's then end of us. I don't know why I even bothered to hope that things would go well for me. I finally open myself up and this is how it ends... I just feel like crap now. I wish I hadn't taken the chance because now I remember what it's like to like someone, and I really did like him, and it just makes being single more depressing! I actually started to think that things were finally coming together for me. What a joke! Should've known it was too good to be true. :(

*sigh*

In other news I had an interview with a nanny agency, so should hopefully have a job quite soon. Which is brilliant as I am actually broke and very much overdrawn. :S
I'm thinking about dying my hair blonde for the summer... I haven't decided yet though. i haven't dyed it in soooo long... must be about 3 years now! :o
11th-Apr-2007 08:45 pm - I don't know what to do
red brolly
I'm so frustrated and confused. This thing with Chris... I haven't seen him for like, 3 weeks even though he is home permenantly now.... his house is a 10 minute drive away. He says he's been working hard preparing for his interview with British Airways which was today... and that his dad made him stick to a timetable... I do believe that, but I don't believe that he couldn't make at least a little bit of time to see me... just an evening or something! I'm just so confused... because we are not officially in a relationship because he doesn't know what he wants, yet he claims to really like me. ARGH... if I was someone else I would say just leave it... but I feel so inexperienced. I haven't been in a relationship for over 3 years!! so technically I've never been in an "adult" relationship. and I'm scared to say to him "look, make up your mind because this isn't fair on me" because I don't want to be alone anymore. Why can't I just meet someone and it just WORK? The last couple of weeks i just get the feeling that he doesn't care. But the thing is I just don't know... I don't have any experience with men, and I don't know if he is just busy or if he has gone off me. Fucks sake, I sound like every girl I ever rolled my eyes at. I just  do not know what to do.

Other things going on...

- still have this bloody cold.. it has not lessened at all. i'm starting to think I might have an ear infection aswell.
- still jobless... and getting poorer by the minute. Fun.
9th-Apr-2007 04:33 pm - *sniff*
red brolly
I'm still completely full of cold! I'm so getting sick of not being able to breathe... lol Maud just phoned me and was asking how I was and stuff and said I sounded terrible!! lol
My Easter weekend has been alright... no different to any other weekend really!! I sat here and watched 4 films yesterday while drinking tea and munching on chocolate. It was very productive! hehe  oh I tell a lie, it was different in one way... my dad cooked the roast!! It was pretty good actually! lol I did joke about poisoning and stuff, but afterwards I made sure to tell him that it was good as men are sensitive about those kind of things I've noticed! =P
Today I've just been watching more films... I'm currently watching The Sound of Music which I love. I have to watch it everytime it's on even though I have it on dvd! But it's just lovely... musicals make me happy! hehe =) After this I think Toy Story 2 is on so I shall watch that aswell... such an exciting life I lead! heh my excuse is I'm ill!!
Tomorrow I need to phone up about a temporary job I applied to... I hope I get it. It's only til the end of June, but it will give me more time to find a proper job and give me some money to help pay my bills.
7th-Apr-2007 03:49 pm - I'm lost!
stars
I feel so full of cold still today. I got up fairly early for me on a saturday, at 9.30, (lol) because I couldn't breathe. I wish I'd stayed in bed though because the first thing my dad said to me was about the job search. Seriously, they don't need to keep on at me. I know I need to get a job! Believe me, I know the state of my finances and I'm getting fairly desperate... I don't need them on my back all the time. I know they are just worried, but i'm worried too and it just doesn't help having them talking about it all the time. Ugh.
I went into town after my early start, as I had to stock up on paracetemol, tissues and Olbas Oil. haha... so I really smell of decongestants! Lovely. Unfortunately I also bought myself another book while I was in town. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just can't stop myself buying books! It wouldn't matter so much if I was employed but I can't afford to be spending!! Argh.

*panics*

Someone give me a job, please!!!
6th-Apr-2007 06:33 pm - The End
red brolly
So the saddest thing in internet history has just happened... the end of bolt (or bolt2 if we want to be picky). 5 and a half years I've been on that site and now it is gone. I suppose it is kinda strange that we were all so sad over a website closing, but bolt was different. We were a great big family... sometimes dysfunctional, always random and definitely entertaining. It feels almost like losing a friend, and now we must all adjust to being without it. I will miss it.
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